Stuck on an illustration for an occult book.

So the guy I did the logos for wants me to do the illustrations for a book now (in the same style as the nod logo.) But I am finding it difficult, as I am not an illustrator really.

I am trying to find ways to fix the issues on this page. I am happy with the temple and the chains, though I just cannot get the cracked and broken aspects of the temple looking right. I am also wondering how to improve the mountains.

TEMPLE-SMALL | Flickr - Photo Sharing!

Its getting me down, and though the client is happy with the style I am not happy with it.....
It doesn't look too bad, given the style you've chosen to do it in.

Maybe the outer lines are a bit too jagged, more like glass. The inner lines could be thinner and more crack-like, and maybe drop in a grey tint in the broken areas?
Hi Deadletter,

First, I think your nearly there but like you said not 100% there yet. So don't feel bad.
1. For me I really liked your logo and I think one of the differences between the logo and this illustration is that now you have introduced perhaps too many different kinds of diagonal lines (different angles and thicknesses). I think you should just have one kind of diagonal line and not to over use it.
2. Another thing that I imagine could work well is if you try to see how much you can remove (i.e. reduce it down to the essentials) without looking the meaning.

How big is this image eventually going to be? If its quite big fine, if its going to be small (like a logo etc) then perhaps simplifying it further will help (as per 2).

Looking forward to seeing the next round. :)
Illustration is subjective. Overall - yes I think it does work but I just wonder if it could be better if it were simpler. I could be wrong, but the client wanted to follow on from the Arundel logo, no? That was very beautiful, elegant and with clean lines. Not too fussy and a little more geometric. I think there were just 45 degree diagonals in that logo which was nice on the eye.