Personally I really don't think this works. The green pulse that represents the 'N' is distracting, as a mark it is clashing the space within the type.
I also think having it cramped into a circle cutting the edges off the text really makes it feel claustrophobic. I identify with the pulse as a link to heart
rate and the benefits of increasing heart rate. I however do relate the pulse too strongly with medical. Bupa incorporate a softer verion of the pulse.
However that is my perception, others might see it a perfect fit. You could try a more suggestive approach with the pulse. Think this sort of thing was
done in the late 70's late 80s. You could create the pulse in the shape of a sprinter or an active looking pulse. So the peaks and troughs reflect a human form?
Just an idea, it is a bit retro but could be worth having a tinker with it. Could work out quite cool. Think my local sports shop back home used to have something similar.
Possibly investigate a few more concepts? try working with some different mark and font combinations, orientation and positioning. ie; have 'BRUCE FITNESS'
all on one line with the mark above or below or inbetween. Maybe even just his name on it's own? I think the green and black can work well. Look at a rectangular
block of black, that will fit the typeface better.
Let the type breathe a little. Never be afraid of space. The spacing between the characters (Kerning) looks a little unnatural for the typeface too.
If you look at Fitness First they have just gone through a rebrand. A nice strong typeface slightly italicised suggesting a bit of motion. Topped with a nice strong mark,
you could use the 'F' anywhere. Posters business cards and as a vinyl lettering on the walll within the gym it is dynamic and very strong.
Something to consider is how this will translate to use on Business cards and possibly a PT polo shirt whilst he is training with clients.
I hope there is something useful in there, it is intended to be constructive so I hope it is taken that way. :icon_smile:
Just to add to the above crit, i'm sure you forgot to mention, what is also clever about that Fitness First logo as an example is that it also forms the number '1' from the letter 'F' - hence the whole 'Fitness (1st) First.' It is clever and works on many levels, as logos should.