Hi,
I think the initial concept is okay but personally, I think the typography needs to be a lot more refined. You need to think about the hierarchy of the type and which parts are the most important. Secondly, it's clear that you've just typed your text out and not considered the best way to fit it into the circles. You also need to look at your own design and figure out how to make the design have more impact.
My advice would be to look at any well-designed flyer and notice how the typography and graphic elements work together.
I hope this helps.
Scott