It has all the same problems as the other design. The only difference is, the shape at the top is slightly different but in grey. The issues you have are more fundamental than that, ie, you're not a designer.
Also, it looks far too bare. I think you could get that down to half the number of pages it is? You've got a ton of white space, not always bad, but, not always good either.
still need a good solid font for the headers / titles and as tony said its far too bare, try and not fill the pages with stock imagery and layout the text nicely and in columns.
I don't think its too bad at all. It doesn't flood me with inspiration and creativity but I've seen much much worse that large professional companies use!
I think the problem here is that it takes a range of acceptable (if a bit obvious) design elements of the kind that you'd reasonably expect to find in this kind of product but assembles them without an expereinced designer's eye for balance, subtlety, etc.
Hi there! The first thing I noticed is that you need get a handle on working with a grid. You need to pick a grid (3, 4 or 5 column perhaps), set your margins etc and then stick to it. The text running right across the width of the page is not doing the design any favours at all.
If you look at most brochures you will be able to see what kind of grid they use pretty quickly - usually given away by how many columns of text there are. Take a look at some magazines and brochures and familiarise yourself with grid usage (google!) then try applying what you learn to your design Looking foreard to seeing the next installment
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