7 things you should NEVER ask a designer!

Any sentence that begins -

"Can you just QUICKLY change/add/try etc..."

or even worse,

"Can you just REALLY QUICKLY change/add/try etc..." followed by a fundamental change to the design (and they're sat next to you!)
"Can't you just bump up the 72dpi image to 300dpi?"

"I like all three options, can you morph them into one?"

"SUPERIMPOSE" (in every sentence as it's the most/only 'technical' word they can think of)

When a client asks for too many colours and/or different fonts to be used in a design.
"Can you send that to me by close of play on Friday?"

Yeah, like you're going to get it printed over the weekend are you?!
How about this:

"Can you just do me this quick job for tomorrow?"

"Yes, no problem. Will you be able to pay me quickly too?"

"Oh, no, you'll have to wait 'til the end of the month as usual"
"... it should only take a few minutes."

I had this yesterday!

'can you just edit that now and resend it' (ignoring the fact that I am no where near the Mac and have already told the customer that I won't be back in front of it for 6 hours):crazy:
The one I get regularly is

Client: "Can you design something for us, similar to this <insert link to document>"

Me: "Sure no problem!"

[sends design with same layout]

Client: "Can you change x,y,z"

Me: "Ok"

Client: "Now change x,y,z and see how that looks"

Client: "Hmmm doesn't look at all like what I sent you originally???"

Client: "What way do you think it should be done?"

Me: "The way I did it the first time."
"Can we speed up this job please, time is pressing." says the client after they've already had the job a week for proof checking!
"I've scanned in this document, can you just copy and paste the text and use the same layout and get it back to us? Shouldn't take too long as you have everything you need"

I mean REALLY?!!

I have had far too many encounters to put them all down but this was my most recent.
Client: "If I get the brief to you by first thing, final copy to you by 11.20, photography by 1.10, final artwork back from you by 4.23 and we get sign-off by 4.45, can we get it printed tonight and couriered to the client event for breakfast?

Me: No! And not because I couldn't hit everyone of your ridiculous deadlines but because we both know YOU couldn't hit ANY of these deadlines so why pretend you could!