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fresh eyes

Just to clarify, this is a self-promotional work in progress. I have a stinking cold and would appreciate any comments as I can't even see straight at he moment.

The actual content is kind of locked down, it's the structure/pace/narrative which I'm trying to pin down.

Ta in advance.


Senior Member
I dont really know what im looking at, what am I supposed to do/get out of the video? if its supposed to be informative you dont leave the text onscreen long enough to actually get the data out of it... for some reason it reminded me of the beginning of "The Kingdom" which has the greatest informative annimation i've ever seen, perhaps you could draw some information from that? (its also a really good film)


Senior Member
i worked in topman as a teenager and hated doing model store rubbish.

i see what you've done with montage.

like the layered style
its pretty good, really happy colors and great dynamic(really enjoy to see it)!... but if you want that the first slides readable you need to take it longer on screen, its to much text for a short time.

Another think is if you want to promote yourself i must confess i didnt get it... i just understood that was for self promotion when i read it :S maybe a brief resume about you and what you do (if is a self promotional !!??! )

good work
Ta all,

None of the type needs to be especially legible as it's totally irrelevant and meaningless out of context (which it is here). It's just to show the mad-skillz—primarily to other fashion chains who will understand the context which it's been taken from i.e., modelstore roll-outs etc.