Should I Stay or Should I Go

I’m 32M having a low-paid job in CN. I am really a peg in this society: I hate lying and kissing up to bosses, and the corrupt officials here; hence, most people here regard me as an outsider.

So, I seek to immigrate to a developed country regardless of whether it's through work or study. I used to try to apply for designer positions abroad but there was no response. I'm not sure whether it’s because companies are hesitant to go through the visa process for a foreigner or I don't have the gift to be a designer or both.

PS.: design is not my favorite thing; maybe I wanna be major in something related to food, such as being a nutritionist. But I have almost no idea how to pursue this path in Europe or other English speaking countries if I choose to study there.

And this picture below is my recent packaging design work:
The boss, whose company produces cake decoration candy, asked me to design a pull-out box, where they decided to put 5 pieces of candy and the position of the holes is fixed.

I conceived that there must be two figures in my packaging design, one of which must be Santa, and I wanted a figure to interact with the figures in the box or customers (and I still chose Santa to say hello to everyone); according to the holes’ position, if I want interaction, the snow houses with Christmas atmosphere may be the most suitable choice, with the patterns of the windows depending on the holes’ sizes – for example, I wanted something special in one of the smaller holes; therefore, I draw a wreath in the top left corner.

As for reindeer, I conceived that its horns can be like a growing plant, but the rub is how to express it – I drew some plant-like lines on the “wall” behind this unique deer, and then some lights.

In conclusion, I'm feeling somewhat confused about whether I should continue being a designer. Would you have some advice?
 

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Firstly, if you don’t have a passion for design, you’ll never make it in design. There are so many people ahead f you in the queue who do and secondly, judging by your work, see point one. Find your passion and use that to propel you. Without passion you’ll never have the drive to achieve. Hope this helps.
 
Firstly, if you don’t have a passion for design, you’ll never make it in design. There are so many people ahead f you in the queue who do and secondly, judging by your work, see point one. Find your passion and use that to propel you. Without passion you’ll never have the drive to achieve. Hope this helps.
U are right. Actually, I did have a passion for this career at beginning because I have lots of ideas. However, at least in cn (I know of no the conditions in your western countries), except a few design masters, most designers have to submit themselves to their bosses’ or clients’ ideas – if they want some flashy or tacky stuff, we have to make such a style for them as soon as possible; otherwise, we will lose jobs. Therefore, we can do nothing but to cut corners dealing with daily tasks, which is boring and no help for improvement.

What's worse, the average salary of this career is quite low in this country, where most people are catching up with the Joneses, so I was contempted by my relatives and that made me depressed and quit my job for a period. Then I did a parttime as a language tutor – it’s low-paid too, but I felt happy every time after class back home. Now I found another design job, depressed and low-paid again and sometimes I felt this is not what I want, though I no longer care others gossip about me.
 
It’s essential to align your career with your passions and values. If design isn’t bringing you joy or success, pursuing a new path might be right. Consider taking small steps towards your new goal, like enrolling in an introductory course in nutrition or connecting with professionals in the field.
 
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