BAD HUMOR - Actual Newspaper Headlines

The following are actual headlines from real newspapers around the planet ... Some of the headlines are a few years old. Enjoy!

1. Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
[No, really? Nothing gets by these folks!]

2. Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
[Now THAT's taking things a bit far!]

3. Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
[What a guy!]

4.Miners Refuse to Work after Death
[No-good-for-nothin' lazy so-and-sos!]

5. Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
[See if that works any better than a fair trial!]

6. War Dims Hope for Peace
[I can see where it might have that effect!]

7. If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile
[You think?]

8. Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
[Who would have thought it!]

9. Enfield (London) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide. [Hmm ... They may be on to something!]

10. Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges
[You mean there's something stronger than duct tape? Say it ain't so!]

11. Man Struck By Lightning Faces Battery Charge
[He probably IS the battery charge!]

12. New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
[Wasn't the original group fat enough?]

13. Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
[Note to self: Never go 'south of the border' before a launch!]

14. Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
[Taste like chicken, I hear.]

15. Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
[Chainsaw Massacre all over again!]

16. Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors
[Boy, are they tall!]

17. Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
[And they call THAT news!?]