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Soft Play Centres

Ok guys, this is very off topic. But I'm assuming that some of you out there must be dads, and I need to ask you a question. I don't know about you, but I dread going to these play places, it's boring, gives me a headache and there's other people's sweaty kids shouting down my ear. But it's a good place to let my own kids run off some steam.
My question is: what could a play centre have/do to make visiting less of a stress for you, or more exciting/bearable?
Free Beer :D
...joking aside, I love taking off my trainers and spending some time with my boys after working all week, so for me that's the whole point of taking them there, to play with them. Having said that, I obviously don't play with them all the time we are there so when i'm not the ones we go to have newspapers, TV and are part of a pub chain so I can have a pint (in a plastic cup), what more do I need?


Staff member
no kids but I can relate to the screaming kids, got a girl (edit for clarity - child outside) who literally just screams and I mean the high pitch annoying scream for no reason whatsoever.
So I'd say free wifi, sound blocking headphones and maybe 'rent-a-slate' so the adults can browse the web or watch streaming movies (plex/netflix/lovefilm) etc.
Maybe a quiet 'adult area' behind sound proofed glass, I've seen stuff like it round here, there's a massive play area for the kids in a sound proofed and staff supervised area where you can still see the kids but not have to listen to them :)
I've been to one that had a soundproofed air conditioned adult only viewing room that gave you a birds eye view of the madness. That was quite novel.

Another one had free filter coffee, again for adults only.

Not found any with free WiFi yet.

It's always good if the food isn't over priced deep fried mechanically separated stuff. Not many places let you take your own grub.

Kids parties at these places are the worst, like hell on earth.

Most of these places are quite dirty, they don't seem to mind. Kids don't really see rust and potential hazards. They do get hammered hard though.