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Slow day, do you need cheering up by a dumbass? Have any dumbass stories to offer?

Discussion in 'Chill Out Forum:' started by Jazajay, Mar 12, 2009.

  1. Jazajay

    Jazajay Active Member

    Right I just have to share this dumbass moment, it was truly hilarious and everyone I have told has just wet themselves.

    Right I was just at the gym in a middle of a 15 minute sprint on the treadmill, My towel slips down the track, and me being a complete dumbass looks to see where it has gone, lose my footing and somehow do a 360 turn on the treadmill and go flying down the track on my back, and then flew off the end in front of a semi-packed gym, I was in stitches TBH. :lol:

    But then this very, very nice lady to my right, and this alright lady behind me, or is it now in front of, are like OMG are you alright, anyone who knows me knows I don't tend to get embarrassed and I seek attention, so I get up and say "O I've done it early today", lol, that went down well. Then the aerobatics instructor stops her class and comes to see if I'm alright followed shortly by the receptionist, so now I have four ladies and I'm right in my element, lol. If you ever need to meet women in the gym honestly this is the route to go, lol.

    So up to now I've done something stupid but not embarrassing, however....
    Then I try to get back on the treadmill, while it is still going at full sprint, not once but twice, and fall over twice more, lol. For some reason it just didn't occur to me to stop it first, lol, I mean that is just stupid why would it? lol.

    Anyway 1 of my mates, who I have so far told about this, was just like cheers for cheering me up I was having a bad day until now, so I thought I would share in the hope of doing the same to someone else on here.

    So does anyone have any more dumbass moments to share or is it just me?, lol. :lol:

  2. Nice work Jaz :D very well done ;) did you get their numbers :) :lol:
  3. Jazajay

    Jazajay Active Member

    O yeah as that would make my day go down a treat when my mrs, who also goes to the same gym, not today I may add ;), starts to wonder why I have them, lol.

    But it's always a good starting point for next time hay. :up:
  4. tbwcf

    tbwcf Active Member

  5. Jazajay

    Jazajay Active Member

    Lol...loving it at least I'm not the only dumbass. :lol:

    Lets see how many dumbass stories we can get hay, lol.
  6. I think we're all dumbasses at one point or another every day :) :lol:

    :lol: yeah Jaz.. i think if your Mrs was there she would probably have run to your aid making the other women not bother :) especially if she kissed the boo boo better :lol:
  7. Adam

    Adam Senior Member

    Moral of the story Jaz....... go to a real gym! ;) (by real gym i mean, weights and lots of them and not a cardio machine in sight!)

    I just wasted 1 hour of my lunch break viewing a house, it was a sh*thole, i can't believe i wasted my hour walking down there! Funnily enough the estate agents didn't show the front of the house in pictures, probably because they know they'd have now viewings!
  8. Jazajay

    Jazajay Active Member

    No totally buddy and I don't want that, now do I, lol. :p

    Oii Kudosis leave off my gym ,lol....the women are well cute, lol and appreciate dumbass's, which when I go is the main thing I look for in a gym TBH lol.

    My current regime actually is 10 min run up hill on the treadmill, 15 mins of weights set by my personal trainer, I know :up:, 15 min sprint, 15 mins more of weights, followed by a 15 min sprint, 5 times a week then 3 4 mile runs a week on the road.

    It was just at the end of my session as well, so I had to go as my little 1 was in the crèche upstairs. O well once I got changed I bumped into the well fine lady, another 1 who I know saw it, made a point of bringing it up of coarse, as she is pretty nice, bum could do with some work though :p, and the receptionist so I got loads of attention in the end. lol, which is by far the main thing, lol.

    Sorry to hear about your house though, sounds like a mad waste of time, lol.
  9. Ahh the joys of gym junkies.. used to be one too.. while i was playing Rugby in NZ ... don't care too much anymore :lol:
  10. Jazajay

    Jazajay Active Member

    Oii I prefer the term gym bunny, lol, even if it technically isn't right, lol.

    Honestly man I was such a layabout 5 months ago I really was, I just cant believe I didn't find it earlier TBH. I mean there is nothing better than looking at yourself in the mirror lifting weights, now is there, or is that just me being vain, lol. :lol:

    So what made you pack it in then?
    I honestly find that hard once you have the bug it must be really hard to put it down.
  11. berry

    berry Active Member

    Where to start???
    Mmmm... many years ago when i was an 'young creative' ( pre- Mac days) I went up to Edinburgh with the Account Director to pitch for this £250k piece of national business. ( We had spent a week and all weekend working on this) When we arrived at the client we started to set up and realised I had left the portfolio case with all the work in, still in the agency reception.
    I had to think on the spot as the Account Director was having a coronary in the corridor. After he did his intro and introduced me and the 'creative work' I blurbed some rubbish why we don't present work but rather try and create a stimulating dialogue between client and agency bla bla. Like, maybe the ad would look like this.......I then hit the flipchart and pretended to think of the idea on the spot and scamped it out, ie; "the headline might say..... and maybe down on the bottom we have the logo...with a strapline that like this." After doing my Rolf Harris scamps of all the work I had left behind, the client was suitably impressed by my 'instant creativity' and vigour and foundthe whole presentation 'refreshing' and unexpected. I didn't get sacked when i went back to the agency, despite the MD wanting to put my head on a pole. As we won the account before we left.
  12. In the end I just decided that I had enough.. lots of things changed in my life at the time and made me just re-evaluate everything ...
  13. Jazajay

    Jazajay Active Member

    Loving it you go for a £255k client, or what ever, and you say ~

    "headline might say..... and maybe down on the bottom we have the logo...with a strapline that like this".

    Well.......:lol:, loving the confidence, lol, you must have pulled it off very well with words like those, but it's good to know you didn't lose your job anyway, you must have been bricking it though afterwards, hay. lol.

    Fair enough buddy, hope things are alright now though. :)
  14. berry

    berry Active Member

    It wasn't really about confidence, ( as i was bricking it till i got in the agency next day) sometimes shit happens and you have to roll with it, whether you like it or not. The interesting thing is that was a defining moment in my early career, as it kick started my rise - it could have killed it too! Such is life.
  15. Jazajay

    Jazajay Active Member

    God that is so true, isn't it mad how 1 day can make such a difference???

    I mean rather than going to the gym today I could of gone shopping and got hit by a bus on my way instead, and that would be the end of my life you know.

    Wow we are defiantly starting to get deep, lol.

    But I would disagree TBH I would say it was also down to confidence, as you know being a MD, would you put that kind of money in a group with a unconfident presentation, esp. if the ppl doing it lacked any kind of confidence what so ever, I mean that surely would show to you they had no idea what they were doing, if they couldn't pull off a confident presentation wouldn't it?

    So you must have done a pretty good job a winging it like that, and confidence must have thus played apart, IMO. lol. But regardless nice blag and it defiantly outshines mine, darn it, lol.

  16. Adam

    Adam Senior Member

    Going to the gym is the easy part, only need a maximum of an hour. Its when you get addicted to bodybuilding and take everything seriously, calculating everything that goes into your mouth and making sure you get "x" amount of calories. That's when it can get life draining. Trust me!
  17. berry

    berry Active Member

    Actually I've realised you've pointed out something... I ALWAYS wing presentations!
    I go in un-rehearsed with just a skeleton framework of who does what, and then it's all freeform and see what happens. Now that I've committed that to print, I don't know if that's now scared the pants off me!!! It reminds me of the Harry Enfield, Paul Whitehouse Dragons Den sketch:cry:

    YouTube - Harry and paul- dragons den SPOOF, crown, sticky tape, hip hop halphabet
  18. Jazajay

    Jazajay Active Member

    Yeah but if you are me or Berry you also have to calculate what's coming out of our mouths, ;), only joking Berry.
    God don't think I'll got that deep, I think impressing the lady's with my acrobatic skills is enough for the moment, TBH. :D

    I know it's always good when you realize you do something that has such an impact on how ppl see you, in a new light, but again shows CONFIDENCE, lol.
  19. Aarlev

    Aarlev Member

    Haha..your storry definitely cheered me up Jaz. Cheers! :)

    Here's one of my dumbass stories.

    A few years back I was in Thailand with my mate. And just before we landed in Bangkok I was dying for a piss. I thought, cool I'll go in the airport. But then got completely distracted with Visa and Immigration etc. so forgot about my bladder for a while. So we jumped on a bus from the airport to the city centre and my bladder kindly reminded me again that I was seriously dying for a piss now. I asked the bus driver and he told me another 10 mins and we'd be there, so I thought ok I'll hold it.

    But of course we get stuck in a traffic jam on the middle of a massive highway and the bus starts moving at snails pace.

    I thought, this is it, I'm gonna have to wet my pants, as it was getting critical at this point. Then I noticed my mate drinking water out of a half litre bottle.

    I told him to hurry the f*ck up and down the water and then cover me. Luckily there wasn't many people on the bus so I went behind the last seats in the back. So my mate is sitting in front of me covering me and doing some very fake coughing, while I empty my bladder in a plastic bottle while sitting on my knees on the floor of the bus. I was so relieved, until the new contents of the bottle started to reach the top and I still felt a lot more piss coming.

    Luckily I had also bought a bottle of water in the airport. So I had to sit on my knees in a bumpy bus with my willy out, put a cap on the first bottle while holding the rest of my pee inside me, and then drink half a litre of water and then fill that bottle up with piss as well. :D

    Couldn't find any toilets when we were dropped off so I had to walk around Bangkok for an hour or something with a litre of my own piss in my backpack :lol:.

    Great start to a holiday :). Since that day I always make sure I pee before going anywhere :).
  20. Jazajay

    Jazajay Active Member

    lol, loving it...great story, lol. :lol:
    That is just so typical isn't it. :)

    That so reminds me of a friend of mine who went to a bluetones concert, could have been sterophonics, anyhoo she had way to much to drink and was kinda out of it, second row from the front, middlish, so she wasn't giving up her place for anything, so she had to go in this mini-bottle it obviously wouldn't hold it, and it just went every where, lol. Awww good times. :D

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