Request suggestions on logo design

[Ram P. Mony]

Hi friendly people!

Last month we had a logo design assignment (in Illustrator) to submit, and as we are encouraged to submit our draft designs for correction before submitting the final one, I ended up doing 5 attempts. Unfortunately, I still couldn't get it by the fifth attempt, and with less than 24 hours to before the final deadline, I submitted a totally different design, which was accepted - I got my grades!

But the Prof said he wants me to keep working on the previous design (not for grades) and show him a reworked one. However, I feel short of ideas how to go about improving/ modifying it. Any suggestions / critiques would be much appreciated.

I am uploading the images of the 4th and 5th attempts at the logo. The basic idea is the letter 'G' with a river/ stream flowing through it. It was for a fictional company called 'Gurdara Graphics' - Gurdara is a persian word meaning 'dark river' (Gur = Dark; Dara = River).

This is the feedback the Prof gave me on the 4th attempt:
"I suggest trying to get the shapes to be defined by color and tonal contrast and not relying on the strokes. I suggest trying to work out the layout in B&W before adding any color. I also feel the "river" should not be of the same values or color as shown in the lower left."

This is the feedback he gave me after the 5th attempt:
"I still suggest making this work w/o the strokes. The one along the right side close off the negative space within the "G"."

I think I have either lost my way with the design or haven't quite understood what he meant. Any ideas/ suggestions/ critique would be very much welcome.

[EDIT - PDFs swapped with JPGS – Mod]

 

[Paul Murray]

I agree with the feedback, generally, you want to aim for something that works in a single colour, without strokes or outlines. Why a river cutting through a G, why not just a G that is also a river? A bit like this idea, the steam is also a path:

 

[Wardy]

Paul's right, you need to simplify it a lot. I don't really see a river there.
Have you tried a very simple freehand G swash in the shape of a river?
It might just work without it looking like an S.

 

[Ram P. Mony]

Paul, thanks for clarifying what the Prof meant. Now I grasp it much better. Your illustration gives me ideas.

Wardy, Thanks for the honest opinion, I really needed that. As far as freehand goes, i'm actually a teeny weeny bit scared of what the outcome might be.

Now, I'll go back to the drawing board, rework it and then repost here.

Thanks so much to both of you. I really appreciate the advice.