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Personal Statement Help!

Discussion in 'Introduction Forum:' started by Sakura19, Nov 14, 2011.

  1. Sakura19

    Sakura19 New Member

    Hi, student looking to go to uni but needs help with personal statement. Course: Graphic design in London.

    I wish to study Graphic Design no matter what form it comes in whether it is on paper or hanging of the Brooklyn Bridge. From Infant to Primary school I was an artist/ sports crazy student more then a Designer. I was part of a Baseball team winning three consultative years and as an artist I painted a lot of landscapes, flowers and fruit. Kind of like where I think most designers start. From the beginning of Secondary school till the end I was transitioning from any ordinary artist to a Games character designer and I didn’t even know it. In the middle I found my passion for games and cartoons when looking into a Japanese games company Square-Enix and animation. I was going for a Games Design course but at the last minute I changed my mind and chose Graphic Design. I was adamant I would become an Art teacher or a games designer but never thought that I would be sort of both.

    I have studied National Diploma in Graphic Design for two years discovering new things I never seen or done before. During HNC I was trying to develop my own style of illustration thinking that, that is what I want to specialize in but it was never enough to do just one thing so I have made my decision to hopefully become a Multi- disaplenary designer. There was never enough animation just the use of Flash so to feed my cravings for more I have taken on another course during my full-time education at college I am also doing CGI: Animation at home covering a number of animation software’s such as Maya and 3dsMax.

    During National diploma I was a Student representative for our course because even though I am fully involved with design I do like a bit of politics on the side. I did a couple of other things on the side as part of a programme called Enrichment; a short course for digital photography I never thought I would be a full-time photographer but as a side career it is perfect and going to the gym.
    Recently we have been working on a project encompassing brand identity, editorial design and advertising for a place on Walsall College grounds soon to be a art/ art supplies shop. We have the following task to create and design everything from shop name to the interior design of the shop. The class is working on their own designs and then the client Walsall College Marketing team choose the end product. It is an on going project so far we have established the name all together, the logo that I have designed and stationary from another student.

    My ambition is to become an Multi disciplinary Graphic Designer like Ian Lynam I have a desire and a willingness to learn quickly, I want to build my knowledge of new industry software and put my work out there into the real world. I am aware that there are many challenges not only in developing my skills but being able to keep one step ahead so personal growth will be continually improving as well as great determination.
  2. Levi

    Levi Moderator Staff Member this the statement or an introduction?

    If it's the statement then you need to do a spelling and grammar check as some of it is pretty bad.

    Also it just seems like a load of random ramblings to me rather than a personal statement
  3. Sakura19

    Sakura19 New Member

    Its the statement. Yeah the spelling bad and stuff but its a first sort of draft. I wanted to know if overall its ok ish
  4. mega

    mega New Member

    This needs serious fine tuning, it doesnt seem like a personal statement. It needs proofreading, re-structuring and it needs better content. I would recommend you try a professional service, Custom Writing of Your Personal Statement is a good one.
  5. Squiddy

    Squiddy Guest

    I would suggest instead that you simply learn how to do it yourself instead of relying on external sources. You're going to uni, don't forget, you will be doing a hell of a lot more writing than this so it would do you good to get it sorted now. I am sure that if you google personal statement, help with personal statement, how to write a personal statement etc you will get a plethora of useful, and more importantly free, resources which will give you the insight to write something much better.

    Something I find that helps immensely is to read through each sentence and take out anything with no meaning, for instance this line:

    "I have studied National Diploma in Graphic Design for two years discovering new things I never seen or done before." You can halve that, everything after "...Graphic Design" is superfluous information. It's pretty obvious that you'd take a course in something to learn about the subject - otherwise you wouldn't take the course. Unless you're 56 with 3 kids and a mortgage. Also that's very poor grammar, it would be "discovering new things that I've never seen or done before"

    The goal in most forms of writing is to be concise, giving them information that they don't need or is blatantly obvious will only discourage them from reading on.
  6. Sakura19

    Sakura19 New Member

    Thank you for the Advise dudes x

    WEBIAN Senior Member

    Try to concentrate on these three elements:

    - Your paintings (landscapes, flowers and fruit). I.E. What technique did you use? Where you happy about the result? Did you think that you could improve with some training? Etc...
    - Your brand identity work. I.E. Similar questions.
    - Your passion for Ian Lynam. I.E. What do you like about his work other than the fact that it is multidisciplinary?

    Try to be exhaustive as they are the most interesting parts of your statement.
  8. Sakura19

    Sakura19 New Member

    WEBIAN wow ur awsum. Thank u x

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