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Need help with a bit of copywriting

Discussion in 'Website Design Critique:' started by stuartluff, Aug 5, 2013.

  1. stuartluff

    stuartluff New Member

    I'm working on my new website and just need a few ideas for copy on the home page. You can view it at stuartluff | graphic designer

    The first bit is ok, I think, but some ideas would be appreciated.

    Basically I"m a designer that specialises in brand identity projects and I think the following makes that quite clear...

    Hello, I'm a brand identity designer.
    Whether you need a single logo or an entire set of brand guidelines, I can help your business become more profitable.

    The second part....

    Knowing what makes the difference, makes the difference.
    Take a look for yourself. Simple creative solutions to complex business equations. where I'm struggling. Not sure if 'Knowing what makes the difference, makes the difference' sounds good or just stupid? What do you think?

    Maybe something about the simplicity of my creations wouldnt go a miss here? Something like 'Simplicity is perfection blah blah' but not as lame or Jonny Ive as that.

    Let me know your thoughts. Also on the layout too. Most links dont work yet as its still being built obviously.
  2. FurnitureGuy

    FurnitureGuy Member

    I think the site looks good, nice clean and simple design, will be good when we can see the other pages too!

    As for the "Second part" I like where you're going with it but something is missing, something to make it flow better. I'm far from an expert on the English language but maybe;

    It's knowing what makes the difference, that makes the difference...

    Hope this helps, maybe the others here will come up with some suggestions too?
  3. stuartluff

    stuartluff New Member

    You're right that does flow better. I still think I need something with a bit more punch though to make people click on to the portfolio.
  4. Paul Murray

    Paul Murray Moderator Staff Member

    Personally I'd add your name to the first part - "Hello, I'm Stuart Luff, a brand identity designer." I find it a bit less formal.

    With the second part, you should really aim to wow. Tell potential clients how you can help them, why they should choose you, what your service will do for them. Increase sales? Dominantly establish their industry presence? Give examples of previous success stories. Just aim to really impress with power-words.
  5. stuartluff

    stuartluff New Member

    If I'm doing my job right the portfolio should wow them. I just want a bit of text to get them to view the portfolio. As for why they should choose me, what services etc I'll be adding an About page at the top and there will be various links dotted around to similar bits of info.

    Im not sure about adding my name as people would already know my name as that is the name of the website plus the logo is quite prominent on the page. It does sound better when you read it how you have written it but I think I'm just repeating the obvious?
  6. stuartluff

    stuartluff New Member

    I've come up with this but still not totally convinced. I know I need to blow my own trumpet to some degree but I'm crap at it hehe.

    It's knowing what makes the difference, that makes the difference.
    [FONT=museo_sans_300regular]You can't be a leader if you don't stand out. I can make you look great. Take a look for yourself.[/FONT]

    ARRIVALS Well-Known Member

    That sounds good to me. Presumably, you've got an about page if people want to read any more about what you can offer them. Any text on the home page should just entice them in to look further at what you can do.

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