My first major corporate client - please critique.

[xskullx]

Hello,

This is my first major corporate client and the pressure is on. I am designing a graduate pop up display (252cm x 224cm).

Please let me know your thoughts from a corporate design perspective. I don't know if I have just been looking at the display for too long, but I feel there is too much white space and it is missing something?

Your help would be so appreciated at this stage! Also, how much would you charge for this as a freelancer? I quoted £150 but feel I should have charged £250

Best regards,

Luca

 

[xskullx]

This is my second design, thoughts please!

 

[fisicx]

Neither have a call to action. It’s all very well listing the benefits but without a call to action the popup won’t achieve anything. The call to action needs to include the preferred method of communication for the target.

 

[Paul Murray]

Don't ever use a business handshake image if you can help it. It's cheesy, dull and and done to death. The first approach is clearly aimed more at graduates so stick with that.

I agree with previous comments. The clipping mask on the students is also very pixelated. If you can, smooth out the mask. You definitely need to some form of CTA, at least a website link. Imagine you saw this as a graduate, it's not clear how you apply for a position. I assume there'll be staff nearby but think about the people that will see this in passing. Always have at least a website URL.

Here's what I'd change:



I'd also move some of the mortar boards away from the text so it has plenty of space.

In terms of cost, I'd probably expect to charge about what you've charged, maybe a little more. It's not a huge job, a studio would expect you to turn something like this out in a few hours.

 

[fisicx]

The mortar boards don't line up with the people below.

Why the quote marks? I don't think they are the right thing to use, especially as you already have the green border on the left of each statement

I've now read the whole tihng again and it's not even clear what's on offer. Is it just a recruitment agency or are they a placement scheme or are the offering jobs or what?