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Drunken logic = dog house!


Staff member
Am I the only one who, when drunk, does or says things that seem perfectly sensible at the time but ultimately end up getting me in trouble with SWMBO*?

Last Friday we were out with some of SWMBOs friends for one of the girls birthdays. Liberally lubricated by guinness and whisky, I got on very well with 'the girls', especially one called Holly who happens to be an extraordinarily busty brunette (not too dissimilar to SWMBO and exactly my type). After a few hours we (myself and SWMBO) decided to slope off for a night cap in a very swanky cocktail bar before heading home.

As we slurped cocktails, SWMBO said "You fancied Holly didn't you?.." In my head I heard this as "lets have a threesome with Holly!..." but then a moment of clarity kicked in and I realised what she meant was "Do you prefer Holly to me?..." I knew that what I needed to do at this point was to reassure SWMBO that Holly wasn't a patch on her so I opened my mouth to give what seemed like the best answer in that situation..... "Nooooo, Holly's a very pretty lass but I'd much rather do the blonde one we were with!" Shortly followed up by "That bar maid's got a cracking arse!!"...

*SWMBO = She Who Must Be Obeyed (also known as my fiance Emma).


Well-Known Member
I'm still in trouble!!
Yeah, I bet you are! Women will never understand men and vice versa. It's a minor miracle that the human race is still here.

Example; One of the girls who cleans our offices came in the other day seeking an opinion. She was asking "If your other half was going to surprise you, what would you like that surprise to be?". I think she was looking for nice dinner, bottle of wine, movie etc. She stood open-mouthed when I said "She could arrange to go out with her mates so I can have a night in front of the Playstation uninterrupted." Jon followed that up with "Men don't like surprises" at which point she huffed, declared that we were useless and stomped off.

Still not sure what we did other than tell the truth!

Suggest you spend the weekend making it up to Emma though.

Dave L

Well-Known Member
"... but I'd much rather do the blonde one we were with!" Shortly followed up by "That bar maid's got a cracking arse!!"...
Let me take a guess... the barmaid was a grainy, giggling Barbara Windsor, the band featured a slide whistle and a trombone playing descending scales and the year was 1974.

Tony Hardy

Well-Known Member
Oh dear Dave hahahaha. That was hilarious. I'm not surprised you're in the doghouse for that to be honest, it happens to everyone.

I don't like the 'do you think she's pretty?' conversation when a woman is on the TV. Only ends in bad things.