I saw some bad justified kerning!
But commendable attempt Tim. Now some big boy stuff.
In terms of concept and an Advertising Idea and Proposition - The 'hero product" that your selling is YOU.
I don't see You, or make any emotional connection with you. You are asking someone to invest in a living breathing entity. So where is it? Where or who is Tim? That's what your selling.
Change the headine to Polite appeal for Assistance. Show your puppy dog face so someone says Ahh! Write it in the 3rd person ie; Tim was last seen wearing a frown looking for work 90 minutes commute time from Birmingham etc etc. Sell you and someone may buy you. Good luck. Now show me sad.....