The Greater Manchester Police is tweeting as part of a bid to raise awareness of what they do in a typical day. Found this comment by Phil Kean – made me laugh so I had to spread the joy around Shift started at 06.00 06:05 – Coffee 06:35 – Another coffee 07:50 – Left the building 08:11 – Middle class woman nicked doing 44mph in 40 limit (great collar) 09:31 – Saw man brush against child in crowded shopping mall, claims he didn’t even know it. Nicked him. (promotion weeks away) 10:14 – Major speed trap effort catches man doing 6mph over limit, he’s also found to be carrying table leg that could be mistaken for gun. Nicked him. 11:37 – Witnessed unemployed youth of no financial substance breaking into a car. Arrested & released due to lack of cash, sorry, evidence. 11:48 – Same youth insults my mother as he leaves. Arrested, taken down shop, gently coached in the privacy of cell, taken to hospital after tripping on concrete floor. 13:19 – Issue parking ticket to old lady. Good bust. 13:45 – Lunch 14:46 – Collared bloke we’ve been trying to nick for ages. Didn’t have any incriminating evidence on him at time. Called evidence unit, who duly obliged. He was found to have 2 kilos of skunk hidden in back pocket. Nicked. 15:18 – Coffee 16:33 – Called to school to investigate sexual assault of pupil by teacher. Teacher denied, claiming pupil lied. However, this kid had a relatively clean record of only 2 arrests, so decided to accept kid’s word. (my name in papers for this one) 17:21 – Car broken down on double yellows. Gave ticket. (turkey shoot) 18:00 – Shift ends. Britain much safer place.