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A day in the life – Funny Police Twitter Report


Active Member
The Greater Manchester Police is tweeting as part of a bid to raise awareness of what they do in a typical day. Found this comment by Phil Kean – made me laugh so I had to spread the joy around

Shift started at 06.00
06:05 – Coffee
06:35 – Another coffee
07:50 – Left the building
08:11 – Middle class woman nicked doing 44mph in 40 limit (great collar)
09:31 – Saw man brush against child in crowded shopping mall, claims he didn’t even know it. Nicked him. (promotion weeks away)
10:14 – Major speed trap effort catches man doing 6mph over limit, he’s also found to be carrying table leg that could be mistaken for gun. Nicked him.
11:37 – Witnessed unemployed youth of no financial substance breaking into a car. Arrested & released due to lack of cash, sorry, evidence.
11:48 – Same youth insults my mother as he leaves. Arrested, taken down shop, gently coached in the privacy of cell, taken to hospital after tripping on concrete floor.
13:19 – Issue parking ticket to old lady. Good bust.
13:45 – Lunch
14:46 – Collared bloke we’ve been trying to nick for ages. Didn’t have any incriminating evidence on him at time. Called evidence unit, who duly obliged. He was found to have 2 kilos of skunk hidden in back pocket. Nicked.
15:18 – Coffee
16:33 – Called to school to investigate sexual assault of pupil by teacher. Teacher denied, claiming pupil lied. However, this kid had a relatively clean record of only 2 arrests, so decided to accept kid’s word. (my name in papers for this one)
17:21 – Car broken down on double yellows. Gave ticket. (turkey shoot)
18:00 – Shift ends. Britain much safer place.


Active Member
Sorry I've been AWOL - busy growing the business dramatically over the last few months.
Now got 15 mouths to feed every month, and the works coming in faster than we can ship it out.
...and I'm trying to rebrand ourselves.

check out our new blog
Armadillo Creative Blog


Well-Known Member
Spotted the Armadillo website was "under construction" a little while back Berry, hard at work I see. Liking the twitter birdy on the blog. And the caveman.