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2011 Predictions


Active Member
What will 2011 bring us? Here are my predictions

1. Mike Ashley finally sells Newcastle United for an undisclosed sum to an undisclosed MP, who purchased the Toon on expenses.
2. British Researchers conclude that after a 5 year long £20m study of traffic congestion, the problem is always caused by the car in front
3. Simon Cowell will get knighted for his services to TV audience ratings and his contribution to the nations economy
4. Rumours circulate on the web about the discovery of 3 Romanian refugees living in Connie Huqs hair.
5. Sepp Blatter dies peacefully in his sleep and leaves over £120million in his will.
6. Carlos Tevez will complain about Man City players complaining about him, complaining about them, complaining about him complaining about them complaining.
7. Cheryl Cole and Cher Lloyd admit to being an item together and start plans to reproduce and sell ‘Mini-Me’s' – because they’re worth it.
8. Apple release the iPhone 5. Like its predecessor it has poor reception issue. Bill Gates explains that it’s caused by Global warming and not bad product design. The iPhone 6, 7 and 8 are also released that year
9. Simon Cowell fails in his bid to host the Olympics at various venues around the globe with the public voting for the winners.
10.Google put in a audacious bid to buy Connie Huks hair, the 3 Romanians refuse to leave though.
11. In an effort to gain credibility for the 2020 World Cup in Quatar. The Quatar Royal Family buy Fulchester Rovers for £225m. Jose Moriniho is appointed manager, unfortuntely Fulchester Rovers fail to turn up for a pre-season friendly against Real Madrid.
12. David Cameron has a crack down to make it harder for people to claim benefits in immediate future by printing the forms in English
13. Holly Willoughby and Ferne Cotton admit to being the same person to claim benefits.
14. Connie Huq admits to News of the World of wanting to be either Holly Willoughby or Ferne Cotton
15. Pencils are banned in Europe because of an EU directive over possible lead consumption
16. Cher Lloyd will still be unpopular
17. Google will bid for the World Cup 2026
18. Extensive tests to finally measure the Moon confirm that it approximately about 6″ diameter, depending where you are standing.
19. James Cameron starts filming Camberwick Green, with Johnny Depp as Windy Miller
20. Connie Huqk will spend a week in therapy after being replaced by Stacey Solomon in X Factor


Senior Member
Well those don’t seem like predictions as much as certainties but here’s my two pennies!

21. David Cameron will increase tuition fees to the extent that only the offspring of Saudi oil tycoons are able to enrol.

22. The previous prediction leads to an influx of Fossil Fuel related academia.

23. Design Forums hits 5000 members and is subsequently charged with assault.

24. Jimmy Wales will start incorporating puppies into his personal appeals.

25. Google will ban the use of the number 26

27. It will be revealed that Simon Cowells’ stylist moonlights as a tree surgeon.

28. Nick Griffin will move to Whitehaven

29. Lord Sugar will buy Russell Hobbs and use it to put Canderel into liquidation.

30. On a serious note the new Red Hot Chili Peppers album will be coming out, F*#C YEAH!


Staff member
33. Steve Jobs will sign a technology sharing agreement with Steve Ballmer allowing Microsoft to use Apple's patented reality distortion field so that all will be right again in pc world :p

34. Tim goes and buys a windows pc as his primary machine :)

35. Apple buys Microsoft and quickly ditches OS-X in favour of Windows 7 as it's primary OS


Senior Member
Jimlad said:
32. Steve Jobs and Bill Gates join forces. AppleWindows coalition fails in the first 6 months.
35. Google buys failing AppleWindows and creates the world changing platform AppWinGoo.